We Never Left
by keg2015
Summary: After James and Lily's deaths, young Harry lives with Sirius Black. Watch as things unfold as Sirius becomes a parent and James and Lily watch from the after life at some of the most crucial points in Harry's life. Sequel to Until the End.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Before you read this, it would be best is you read my story 'Until the End'. This story is a sequel of sorts to that one and everything will make much more sense if you read that.**

Chapter One

_Sirius's Point of View_

I wake up to soft, but insistent pats on my left cheek. I open my eyes, and see little Harry sitting on my chest, trying to wake me up. I do a double take at him, wondering what he's doing here in my bed before I remember the events of last night.

"Oh god." I breath as I sit up and cover my face in my hands. My best friend is dead, and now his son is now in my care.

I feel my head spin and stomach whirl. _My best friend is dead. James is dead. What am I goin-_

"Pa-Foo!" Harry says impatiently.

I shake my head in an attempt to shake out the thoughts and look at my godson. His messy black hair is hanging over into his eyes, and his face shows an obvious expression of frustration.

"I'm sorry, baby." I say as I push the thick hair out of his eyes. I take a look at the large grandfather clock that hangs on the opposite wall. I'm almost shocked to see that it's well past noon.

"We slept an awful long time, didn't we?" I ask, and Harry nods at me. "I'll bet you're hungry, aren't you cutie?"

Harry nods eagerly and I laugh as I get out of bed. Once my feet are on the floor, I pick Harry up and place him on my hip, trying to mimic what I saw James do a million times. Harry settles into me and I leave the bed room and start down the stairs.

Kreacher pops out of his cupboard and Harry screams in excitement. At the loud sound the curtains of my mother's portrait fly open and her screaming fills the house.

"Filthy Half Blood! Dirtying the House of My fathers! Ruination of the Noble House of Bl-"

I manage to close the curtains, but not before Harry begins to cry and whimper into my shoulder.

I hug Harry tightly to me. Not sure what to do, James is ... was always so good at this. A simple touch from him would calm Harry immediately. With me, however, Harry is still crying softly.

"It's okay Harry. It's alright. She's gone now, she's gone." I whisper soothingly.

At my voice, Harry calms and looks up at me with wide eyes. I kiss his forehead and he tugs on a lock of my hair firmly.

"Still hungry?"

Harry nods, and I walk him into the kitchen. I place Harry into his high chair. James and Lily brought the chair over to my house shortly after Harry was born. When their house was being renovated, they spent countless nights here, and brought over many of Harry's necessities in that time. In fact, one of the spare bedrooms, had been named 'Harry's Room' because the contents are all his.

My eyes water at the memories of James, Lily, Harry and I sitting in my living room all sprawled out on the Persian rugs, watching Harry play with all his toys and toddle around.

After Harry is situated, I begin to prepare his food. I remember Lily telling me they were switching him to solids, so I cut up a few apples, a banana, and several grapes and Harry squeals in delight as it hits his tray. I pull up a chair in front of him and watch in amusement as he smashes his food and smears it all over his face. I remember all the times James would chuckle and wipe Harry's face clean, just to have him dirty it up again.

James is su-... was such a great father. How am I supposed to try and fill his shoes? How can I even attempt to be as amazing as he was?

_BANG BANG BANG_

The door is knocked on so hard, it sounds like it'll break straight off it's hinges. Harry doesn't even look up at the sound, but I am out of my seat immediately, with my wand drawn. I make sure Harry is secure in his high chair before I leave the kitchen and walk down the hallway.

As I get closer to the front door, the shouting on the other side gets louder,

"SIRIUS! SIRIUS YOU BASTARD! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR YOU TRAITOR!"

I sigh as I recognize the voice instantly. Remus. A new wave of guilt washes over me. God, I was so wrong about him.

I tuck my wand away as I open the front door, only to receive a blow to the face so strong, it knocks me on my arse.

Remus hovers over me and continues to punch and kick every surface of my body he can, and I don't try to stop him. I deserve this.

"How could you Sirius? How could you?" Remus pants in between blows. "He was your BEST FRIEND!"

I open my mouth to speak, but before I can, Remus punches me and I feel blood gush into my mouth. Remus wraps both hands around my neck and I feel my airway closing off fast. I lift my legs and kick him as hard as I can in the chest, sending him flying back with rage in his eyes. I get on my own two feet and spit the excess blood out of my mouth and onto the floor, as I raise my eyes to his, Remus charges at me once again.

He and I go ricocheting off the walls as he attempts to choke me once again. I wrap my hands around his neck and try to push him off, instead, we both slam into the mirror and it shatters shards of glass all over.

"You need .. to listen ... to me." I choke out as his hands constrict tighter around my neck.

"I .. don't want to ... hear .. your .. LIES!" he replies.

"Remus ... Moony ... It wasn't me ... was PETER."

Remus releases one of his hands on my neck just to punch me in the face, sending me to the floor. He moves to straddle me but stops abruptly when a little hand grips on to the back of his shirt.

"Mooey!" Harry yells. "Mooey stop now!"

Remus jumps off me at lightning speed, and doesn't stop until his back is against the wall and his eyes shift between Harry and I.

Harry smiles, pleased with himself, as he runs up to me and puts his tiny hand on my shoulder.

"Pa-Foo ... Otay?"

I smile at him. He obviously inherited his mother's caring side.

"Yes, Padfoot's okay." I say sweetly

"What is he doing here Sirius? You killed his parents, and then what? Decided to steal Harry to deliver him to Voldemort too?" questions a ragged, hate filled voice from the corner.

I shake my head and stand up, picking Harry up as I go. I turn to face my friend as I take a deep breath.

"It wasn't me, Remus. It was Peter all along." I begin shakily. "The day before they did the charm, I convinced them to make Peter the Secret Keeper. I thought no one would even guess it would be him. No one told you because we all thought you were the spy. Please forgive me, old friend."

Remus's eyes grow wider with every word, a look of understanding covers his face as I finish my explanation. He looks as though all the air has been sucked out of him as he grasps onto a table to prevent from falling.

"Oh my god." he breathes. "It all makes sense now. When I told him I thought you were the spy, Peter completely agreed with me, and I assume he did the same thing to you ..?"

I nod my head.

"Oh my god. Peter. Why would he do this?"

I let out a sharp breath of anger.

"Think about it Moony. Think about Voldemort offering him a reward. Do you really think spineless little Peter would've been able to resist?"

Remus nods sharply as a look of pure disgust crosses his face.

"I'm going to kill him Remus. I'm going to kill him." I say as my voice shakes with anger.

"No. No Sirius. No." Remus shakes his head quickly "You can't. There are too many people depending on you. You can't get yourself locked up."

I shake my head in disbelief at the situation as I motion for Remus to follow me into the sitting room. Once there, he sits on one of the couches as I place Harry in his playpen with all his toys. Once Harry is giggling and playing, I sit on the couch opposite my friend and pour two glasses of scotch, which we both gulp greedily.

As we sit in silence, watching Harry play, I rub my sore jaw where Remus punched me.

"Sorry about that." he says quietly pointing to the numerous bruises I'm sure are covering my face.

I wave my hand in dismissal.

"I would've done the same."

Remus laughs humorless and I look up at him. His eyes are as red and puffy as mine, and his face is clearly tear-stained.

"How did you find out ... about ... them?" I ask curiously.

Remus clears his throat as he looks off to the side, I can see tears forming in his eyes.

"Dumbledore called a meeting for The Order. Told us all what happened." he says monotone "I thought you were the Secret Keeper to begin with, and then when you didn't show up ..."

I nod in understanding as I take another gulp of the strong liquor.

"How did you .. find out?" Remus asks quietly

"My neighbor came pounding on my door late last night. Talking about You Know Who and the Potters. The second he said they'd died, I flew to their house and .. and I saw it for myself. I didn't know what to do. The second I saw Harry alive, I knew I had to get him out of there before people began swarming."

Remus nods.

"You did good Sirius." he begins. "But ... you should know .. Dumbledore isn't going to let you keep him. At the meeting, he mentioned his plans to have Harry live with Lily's sister and her family."

I slam my glass down on the coffee table.

"That is _not _going to happen. Does he have any bloody idea what Lily's sister is like?" I sneer

"Well.. Dumbledore was adamant that it's the safest place for him .." Remus says nervously

"I don't give a damn what Dumbledore wants. I've done everything he's ever asked of me, but not this. I won't do this. James and Lily wanted me to take care of Harry and I gave them my word. Albus has no say in this."

I expect Remus to contradict me, but instead, he nods at me in agreement with sincerity in his eyes.

We both turn our attention back to the adorable toddler before us. As he plays with his stuffed animals, he makes little incoherent mumbles that make himself laugh, and before I know it he curls up in the middle of all his toys and falls asleep. I get up from my seat, and grab a blanket. I cover him with it and softly stroke his back. Harry sighs contentedly and I sit back down.

Remus looks at Harry with fondness and sadness.

"I don't know what I'm doing Remus." I admit. "I'll never give Harry up. Never. But .. I just don't know what to do."

Remus looks at me and nods.

"I don't think you're going to know for a while, Sirius. You just have to take it day by day. I can stick around, help ... if you want. Molly and Arthur offered to take Harry in, so I'm sure they'd be happy to help as well. Their boy, Ron, is just about Harry's age."

I nod, grateful.

"One thing I do know Sirius... James would be happy you're taking care of him. That's what he and Lily would've wanted."

"But I'm nothing like James!" I cry "How can I ever be like him? How am I supposed to do all things he did?"

"You're not." Remus says simply. "You need to raise Harry in your own way. You have plenty of people to help you when things get tough, but .. I know you'll make sure Harry knows how wonderful his parents were and I know that you'll be great to Harry just as you are."

"Thank you Moony."

Remus nods his head and lays down on the couch.

I pick a sleeping Harry up from his playpen and carry him up the stairs and up to my room. I lay down on the bed and once I'm settled, Harry shifts so that his entire body is laying peacefully on my chest.

I kiss the top of his head before I look up at the painted ceiling.

"If you can hear me, I'm going to do my best, James. I'll do my _very_ best." I whisper as my eyes close on their own accord.

In my sleep, I'm overwhelmed in dreams of Harry's growth and the murder of my best friend.

* * *

**WOW!**

**Big shout out to all of you who left so many awesome reviews on 'Until the End'. You guys rock!**

**I know this chapter took a while, but I'm exhausted. I know many of you will ask, so before you do - YES, Lily and James WILL APPEAR in this story, most likely in the next chapter.**

**I know this chapter is a bit dark and depressing, but this is a grieving period for everyone.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
**

**xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**Please keep in mind that 'Jay' is Lily's nickname for James. **

**I own nothing. Everything belongs to JK Rowling**

* * *

Chapter Two

**TEN YEARS LATER**

_Lily's point of view_

I look down at my son and watch as he sleeps peacefully in his gigantic bed. I cannot believe that so much time has passed. So many memories have been made without James and I. My eyes begin to water as the clock ticks Midnight.

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart." I whisper to my now eleven year old son, even though I know he can't hear me.

I hate that we can't be there for this moment. Instead, we're ... here, wherever this is. I suppose it's a heaven of sorts. Most days, James and I spend the majority of our time watching our son. It's the greatest gift, to be able to see him and watch as his life goes on, but it's also the bitterest form of torture. Not being able to interfere.

I would give _anything _to be able to just speak to Harry once more. _Anything._ Even though that yearning never goes away, I suppose it's relieved when Sirius tells Harry about us, and speaks on our behalf. He never allows us to be forgotten and he loves Harry like his own son. From the very first moment we saw him with Harry, James and I knew that, no matter what, Harry would be okay as long as his godfather was around.

Even so, our poor son has had his share of heartbreak. He constantly has nightmares about the night we were killed, and often times, he is withdrawn and more pensive then any boy his age should be. I believe my heart was fully torn in two the night Harry questioned if we had ever loved him at all.

_FLASHBACK  
Harry awoke with a jump, covered in a sheen of sweat and panting loudly. His eyes were frantic for a moment until he realized his familiar surroundings, he settled slightly only to start crying a second later. Harry pulled his knees up to his chest and began to sob into them._

_A very fatigued, pajama-clad Sirius entered the room with a look of concern on his face._

_"Harry?" Sirius said as he approached the side of the bed. "Harry, you okay?"_

_When Harry didn't answer, Sirius sat down on the side of the bed against Harry's side and put his arm around Harry's slumped shoulders._

_"Did you have another nightmare, kiddo?"_

_Harry nodded as he sat up straight, and wiped the tears off his face._

_"I-I'm fine though. I promise." he said quietly _

_Sirius chuckled at my son, who always attempted to be brave, no matter what._

_"What was it about, Harry? And don't say 'nothing'."_

_Harry sighed and looked at Sirius with wet eyes. _

_"My mum and dad."_

_James grasped my hand and looked at me with sad eyes. Watching our son in any form of pain, gutted us both. I squeezed his hand and we turned our attention back to Harry and Sirius._

_"The night they were killed?" Sirius inquired._

_"No." Harry shook his head. "No. In my dream, I was in the sitting room, and ... and they just appeared and started telling me that they hated me for getting them killed and that I was the worst thing to ever happen to them." As he finished, Harry began to cry, even harder than before._

_James's grip tightened on my hand as we both began to cry. How could Harry even think such a thing? I so desperately want to wrap him in my arms and tell him that such a thing could never be true. Never._

_Sirius hugged Harry to his chest tightly, before pulling back and looking sternly into his eyes._

_"Harry. I need you to listen to me very carefully. That would never happen, ever. Your mother and father loved you more than anything in this world and I know they continue that love today, wherever they are. You must believe me Harry."_

_Harry looked at Sirius for a long moment, before wiping his face and nodding. Sirius got up off the bed, and held out his hand to his godson. Harry looked curious for a moment._

_"I doubt either of us are going to go back to sleep tonight so, you and I are going to go downstairs for a nice cup of hot chocolate, and then we'll watch some of those quidditch tapes you love so much. Sound good?"_

_Harry nodded eagerly and jumped off the bed to grab Sirius's arm. _

_Sirius laughed and mussed his hair as he led him out of the bedroom and into the kitchen._

_END FLASHBACK_

I feel two strong arms wrap around my waist, and my husband's chin comes down to rest on my shoulder. I lean back into his embrace and try to will away the tears that threaten to fall.

"Happy Birthday son." James says quietly.

I whimper and James draws his arms tighter around me.

"I want to be there, Jay. I want to be there."

James turns me around so that I am crying into his chest as he rubs soothing circles along my back.

"I know sweetheart, I do too. One day, we'll all be together again, but for right now ... Harry's got Sirius, who loves him more than life and spoils him rotten. Uncle Remus, who teaches him everything he needs to know, not to mention all the wonderful Weasleys. He's got people around him who love him and take care of him. This year he'll start at Hogwarts and make friends and memories of his own. We just need to be grateful that our son is even alive, baby. That he even has this chance."

I look up at James and stroke his cheek until he catches my hand and kisses that too. My wonderful husband.

"You're right. I know, it's just ... jealousy. I'm selfish and I want him all to myself." I admit

James chuckles as he leans down and kisses me quickly.

"That's okay love." he says as he kisses my nose "Oh look, I believe our son is just about to receive his letter from Hogwarts!"

I sigh, as I turn around and put on a brave face. No matter how my heart aches, I refuse to miss even one moment in Harry's life. Not one.

* * *

**Hi everyone!**

**I'm sorry for not updating for a while, but things have been CRAZY! **

**I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I wanted to give you guys something. I will be posting a brand new chapter tomorrow, so please stick with me.**

**Thank you guys so much for all the support!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

_Sirius's Point of View_

I wake up to the sound of an owl entering the house. I know without a doubt what it's here to deliver. My godson is receiving his letter to Hogwarts. I can't believe just how fast these years have gone by. Every time I look at Harry, I still see that little baby boy, not the young man standing before me. It's even harder to believe that ten years ago, I lost my best friend. Every day when I wake up in the morning, without fail, I forget that James and Lily are dead. Once the realization hits me that I can't see them anymore, the rest of the day is spent in silent mourning and grief. I do my best to hide it from Harry, just because he is in enough pain as it is, even though ... I know Harry can see through the entire act. He may have James's looks, but he got his brains from Lily.

I shake my head to clear out the memories as I get out of bed, and put on my robe. I stop at Harry's door and press my ear against it. All is quiet and I know he still is asleep. I smile slightly, because anytime I can get Harry to sleep soundly - it's a miracle. I tip toe the rest of the way down the hallway and down the stairs. Once I reach the kitchen a large, tawny owl is sitting on the kitchen table, clucking impatiently. Upon seeing me, her huge amber eyes blink several times.

I take the letter from her beak and turn to get her some treats and water, but before I can she's already out the window and flying out of sight. I shake my head and look down at the parcel before me. The bright red Hogwarts seal stands out greatly against the cream envelope. I desperately want to open it up and read the letter for myself, but ever since we had told Harry about Hogwarts, he's been awaiting this moment. I smile as I remember all the times we would receive mail and Harry would jump up and down and ask me if anything had come from Hogwarts.

I laugh at the memory as I turn to grab a serving tray from the cupboard. I snap my fingers and Kreacher appears before me with a sour expression on his ugly face.

"How can Kreacher serve you Master?" he asks condescendingly

I roll my eyes. God I hate him.

"I want you to make breakfast for Harry. It's his birthday so all of his favorites - French toast, that berry crumble thing. I want you to be quiet about it as well, Harry is sleeping in and I want everything to be perfect."

Kreacher looks at me with pure loathing in his eyes.

"And what can I do for _you _Master?" he sneers

"Nothing for me." I say simply as I head back upstairs to dress for the day. Kreacher grumbles and starts his work.

After I am ready, I emerge once again and head back down stairs. Kreacher has finished cooking and is begrudgingly placing Harry's breakfast on the serving try along with a vase of dead, ugly flowers. Kreacher looks at me and smiles slightly at his 'little joke' and I shoot him a glare as I remove the vase and replace it with Harry's letter.

I pick up the tray and I carry it upstairs with as much balance as I can muster. Once I reach Harry's door, I knock on it lightly with one hand and open the door. Harry is sitting up in his bed, rubbing his eyes, and yawning.

"Happy Birthday Harry!" I shout, almost spilling the tray.

Harry reaches for his glasses on his nightstand and puts them on.

"Huh?" he says groggy and confused. "What's going on?"

"It's your birthday, you little git!" I tease lovingly.

Harry's eyes brighten as he smiles widely. I move across the room and sit down on the edge of Harry's bed and place the tray of food on his lap. He licks his lips upon seeing his favorite meal, grabs his fork and digs in eagerly. Not even noticing the letter.

"So how does it feel to be eleven young man?" I inquire as I ruffle his messy black hair.

"Suppose it feels the same as any other day." he laughs as he takes another large bite.

I look at him and wonder why he really hasn't caught on yet.

"Any other day, hmm?" I say as I pat my fingers against the envelope.

Harry looks at me curiously and follows my eye line down to the letter. Upon seeing it, he gasps loudly and rips it out from under my hand as I laugh.

Harry runs his hands all over the envelope and traces the seal, before looking at me.

I nod at him and he rips open the envelope and reads the letter at lightning speed.

"I got in! Sirius, I got in!" he shouts.

"Of bloody course you did! You're the son of Lily and James Potter and the godson of Sirius Black! Was there any chance you _wouldn't _get in?"

I move the tray to the opposite side of the bed, and Harry jumps out of the bed and looks around the room as though he's so excited, he doesn't know what to do. I laugh at his reaction and he hugs me so tightly, I can barely breathe. I wrap my arms around him and kiss the top of his head.

"You know what this means, don't you?" I ask as I point to the letter in his hand. Harry looks up at me curiously.

"We have to go ..._school shopping_!"

Harry pulls away from the hug and jumps up and down.

"When?!" he asks excitedly.

"Hmmm... How about..." I look down at my watch "NOW! Go get dressed!"

Harry whoops and I leave the room to let him change. I walk down the stairs and into the sitting room with the fireplace. I pick up a handful of floo powder and throw it in.

"Hey Weasleys!" I say "I have a very excited Harry Potter, ready to go school shopping. Are you ready?"

I step back as green flames form once again and out pops Arthur, Molly and their son Ron. They all step out of the fireplace and brush off the extra ash and soot off their robes.

"How are you Sirius?" Arthur asks excitedly as we shake hands.

"I'm great, excited for Harry of course." I say "He could barely stop jumping from the moment he got the letter."

Arthur smiles with familiarity. "Ron was just the same." he explains and Ron's face turns bright red.

I walk over and kiss Molly on the cheek. "You ready to get some shopping done, Ron?" I ask and he nods eagerly.

The sound of foot steps running down the hallway cause us all to look toward the stairs, where we see Harry bounding down in his best robes.

"Ron!" Harry shouts upon seeing his best friend. Harry runs across the room and embraces Ron like a brother. Molly, Arthur, and I smile at the two young boys. I'm so happy that Harry has as great a friend as Ron. From the very first moment they met as toddlers, they'd become best mates. I remember when I called Molly in desperate need of help when Harry had colic and she came running with baby Ron in tow. Upon seeing someone his age, Harry immediately calmed and Molly and I spent the rest of the night laughing at the two adorable boys.

"Happy Birthday Harry!" all the Weasleys shouted.

Harry blushed and walked back to my side. I clapped my hand on his shoulder, and he smiled.

"Are we ready?" I inquired everyone.

Everyone nodded and one by one, we all flooed to Diagon Alley. As we entered the crowded, busy street Harry and Ron gasped in excitement. Ever since I took Harry here many years ago, it had become one of his favorite places. I realize there is _no point _in trying to reign in the young boys, so I turn to Molly and Arthur.

"If it's okay with you two, how about we let Harry and Ron explore a bit, while we pick up all of their supplies. You two can meet up with us at Madam Malkins for your robes, in about ... half an hour?"

Ron and Harry look at Molly and Arthur with begging expressions, as they nod the two boys squeal and run off into the street.

"Be Careful!" Molly shouts and Arthur and I laugh.

"Well," I begin. "I'm going to go get Harry's books from Flourish and Blotts, and stop by the pet store for a little surprise. I'll meet up with you at Malkins?"

"Absolutely." says Molly as she and Arthur head off in the opposite direction to the used books store. I feel a pang of guilt for bringing up Flourish and Blotts even though I knew they couldn't afford it, I know that with eight children and six of them still in school, money runs tight in the Weasley household. In the past I have offered them money and school supplies, but each time I have been turned down. I understand their reasoning, but it'll never stop me from trying to help.

As I enter the book store, I am greeted by several witches and wizards, some who I know and some who I don't. I greet everyone politely before I hand Harry's book list to Gideon Flourish. He reads the list quickly before going to the back and retrieving an armful of texts. He sets them on the counter with a slam and looks at me.

"That'll be 40 galleons, please."

I take out my bag and set out the appropriate change.

"This lot is for Harry Potter, huh?" he inquires.

I nod shortly. I expected this, but it doesn't mean I welcome it. I know that Harry is famous among all of our kind, but I refuse to allow him to be exploited.

"Too bad about his parents. James and Lily were good people."

My throat tightens as I grab the books off the counter and abruptly leave the store. I make a conscious decision to make to finish my shopping and find Harry and quickly as possible.

I enter the pet store and look around. What would Harry even like? Definitely not a ferret ... He hates cats ... I can't imagine _anyone _wanting a toad. I start to lose patience as I walk to the back of the store. The label above the doorway reads 'OWLS'. I smile ... perfect. I got through the door and am immediately surrounded by hundreds of hoots. I smile at some of the smaller owls whizzing around in their cages, the larges owls snoozing. As I reach the back of the room, I spot a quiet snowy owl looking longingly out the window. That's the one.

I walk up to her cage and put my fingers through the bars and stroke her back gently. She looks at me suspiciously with large, bright eyes before hooting and nipping at my finger affectionately. I smile as I pick her up and carry her though to the front of the store. After she is paid for, I carry her outside and into the street where she hoots loudly in excitement. I carry her down the street until I see Harry and Ron, with their noses pressed up against the glass of a window front.

"Hey Harry!" I shout and he turns to me. "Happy Birthday!" I hoist the owl into the air and Harry's face lights up as he runs to me.

"Sirius! She's .. She's beautiful." He says quietly as he reaches inside to stroke her. "She's mine?"

I nod and Harry gives me a huge hug. I turn my attention to the object Harry and Ron were so enraptured with. Of course ... a broom. A Nimbus 2000 to be exact.

I get a wicked idea.

"Hey boys. I think Molly and Arthur are already at Madam Malkins, so why don't you go ahead and I'll meet up with you?"

Harry and Ron nod and take off down the street as I sneak into the quidditch shop and walk up to the assistant.

"Excuse me, I'd like to buy that broom." I say as I point to the window

The young man's eyes widen as he grabs the broom and wraps it. I pay quickly and ask them to ship it straight to the house so Harry wouldn't see it. I head down the street and into Madam Malkins to see Harry being fitted. I smile before my a lump forms in my throat. James and Lily should be here. Not me.

"What do you think Sirius?" Molly asks me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I nod and put on my most convincing smile as the robes are wrapped and paid for. I notice both Harry and Ron start to become sluggish and begin to yawn. I wrap my arm around Harry's shoulders as I suggest we all head home to take a nap. Harry and I say our goodbyes to the Weasleys as we floo back to Grimmauld Place.

I place all of Harry's school supplies on the table and order Kreacher to put them away as I lead Harry upstairs to his bedroom. He sighs happily as his head hits the pillow and I smile at his sleepy form. I pull the covers up to his chin as I kiss his forehead.

Harry's eyes open and blink slowly. "Hey Siri?"

"Yeah kiddo?"

"Thanks .. for ... everything." he groans out sleepily.

I smile and turn out the light.

"Happy Birthday Harry."

* * *

**Hi everyone!**

**I'm so much happier with this chapter! I love writing for Sirius! Thanks to everyone for all the support and positive reviews - they mean the world. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**PLEASE REVIEW**

**xoxo**

**I recieved some questions about my favorite things, I know many of you won't care, but it's just easier to do it this way - so here's my attempt at answering them!**

**What is your favorite movie?**

_Obviously, I love all the Harry Potter Movies, but I also love the Fast & Furious series, Hunger Games, Pitch Perfect, Ever After, Contraband ... etc._

**Favorite TV show?**

_I don't really have one. I guess it would have to be like Pretty Little Liars or Say Yes to the Dress ...?_

**What is your favorite song?**

_Pearly-Dewdrops' Drops by Cocteau Twins, Beneath Your Beautiful by Labrinth, See you when I see you by Jason Aldean, and anything Ed Sheeran._

**Favorite Books and why?**

_'Harry Potter'__ series by JK Rowling because it honestly represent my childhood and I love everything about that world. __'Audrey, Wait!'__ by Robin Benway - This book is THE BEST and honestly made me laugh out loud in the middle of class and it has gotten me through some pretty tough times, if you haven't read it, you NEED to. Its basically my survival guide. '__If I Stay' __by Gayle Forman, this book is so inspiring and it brought me to tears over and over again. '__The Season' __by Sarah MacLean, I usually hate these type of books but this one is so wonderful, such a good read. Finally '__Revealers' __by Amanda Marrone, this book has so many different aspects to it, but I really enjoyed it._

**What is your favorite place to be?**

_In the fall/winter, my favorite place to be is in Breckenridge Colorado, it's so beautiful and peaceful. In the summer, I love to be anywhere with water - Florida, Hawaii, Bora Bora. Wherever._

**What is your favorite country?**

_Land of the free and the home of the brave of course! Though, If I could move ... I would move to either England or Ireland._

**What is your favorite store?**

_Victoria's Secret, Bath and Body works, Ulta, Kohls, Macys ..._

**What is your favorite animal?**

_I don't really have one ... I suppose ... maybe an otter?_

**What is your favorite memory?**

_All of my favorite memories revolve around things that make me laugh. If something can make me laugh, like hysterically, then it'll most likely become one of my favorites._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

_Sirius's Point of View_

I wake up in my bedroom like I do every morning. I stretch my arms and turn to my left to see bright sun shining sneaking through the heavy curtains that cover my window. Even though I'm sure the day outside is beautiful, I feel a deep ache deep in my chest. Each and every morning without fail, I mourn the death of my best friend and his wife, but today it is worse than it has ever been. Today Harry, my godson will be leaving for Hogwarts. Of course, I remember my time at Hogwarts and how much I loved it, so I am beyond excited for Harry to have his own experiences. However, I feel extremely guilty and heartbroken, that James and Lily aren't here for this. They should be here, not me. I can perfectly picture James and Lily jumping around, ecstatic for this giant step in their sons life. As much as I wish I could say that all the sadness I felt was purely for them, I have to admit that I don't want Harry to go simply because I'll miss him so bloody much.

For the past ten years, I have dedicated my every moment, heart beat, and ounce of my heart to the young boy who is a replica of my best friend. Before I became a full time godfather, I was all over the place. The times I didn't spend with my mates, I was working for the order, partying, going out, traveling and doing everything else you can imagine. I never even considered having children of my own, but ever since that Halloween night ten years ago, I've changed everything about myself. For the past ten years, I've been trying desperately to give my godson the life he deserves and to fulfill the promise I made to his father. I have adored Harry since the moment he was born, but it wasn't until he became mine that I truly felt the feeling of being a parent. My greatest fear is losing him and I often have nightmares that shake me to my core. After I have those nightmares I run down the hallway to his room just to see him sleeping peacefully. I strive every day to be the best that I can be for him and I would gladly wrap up the world and hand it to him if I could.

All of the love I feel for him simply makes this day worse. I don't know what I'm supposed to do for the next nine months while he is away at school. My life is nothing without him in it.

I look at my alarm clock and see that it's still early, and Harry won't be awake for several more hours. I wipe my face and heave myself out of the warmth of my bed. I walk into the master bath that adjoins to my room and wash my face in the large antique sink.

I've always hated this house, and I've considered it a prison since the time I was a young boy. Even though I hated it, I knew from the moment I brought Harry here, I needed to give him stability and that included a place he could call home. With that being said, I knew Lily would crucify me for letting her son grow up in place that was essentially an expensive black hole, so the second I could, I redecorated. Remus and Molly agreed to help me with the large task, so together, we stripped the walls of the black wallpaper and repainted it to a bright cream with black accents. We vanished the expensive sofas and sitting chairs that my mother slaved over with a flick of our wands - the scream of agony from her portrait brought a large smile to my face, as did our new dark worn leather furniture. I set fire to all possessions of my parents, causing Kreacher to throw himself on top of the pile. I considered letting him burn, but sadly, Remus rescued the enraged house elf and he was promptly locked in the attic with nothing but my mothers knickers to keep him company. I stripped my parents room of absolutely everything and rebuilt the suite to fit Harry. Molly and I repainted the dark black walls to be a beautiful red and subtle gold brown which caused Remus to shake his head at me - sorry, once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor. I bought an enormous circle bed that positively swallowed Harry's little form but it pleased me to know he would always have plenty of room. I decided to wait on all other decorations until Harry was old enough to choose for himself, but I made sure to place pictures of Lily and James all around the room. I wanted him to always feel close to them.

I decided to stay in my old room simply because I couldn't imagine being anywhere else, it was home. The only room I didn't touch belonged to my baby brother, Regulus. Even though he had died several years prior, and we had never been close, I couldn't even go in there. I closed his door for the last time, and casted a locking charm that would stay for all time. I decided to let Remus do whatever he wanted with the guest room since it was essentially his.

After weeks of sneaking silently down the hallway, and desperately trying to avoid the portrait of my mother, I had had enough. My mother, a smart, cruel woman set a sticking charm that prevented the removal of her portrait - but I didn't want to remove it. I wanted to destroy it. I stepped up toward her frame and watched her sharp nose curl in disgust at me. I pulled out my wand and watched her eyes widen.

"Goodbye Mother." I said with finality and watched with relief as the paint of her screaming face burned away and caused ash to fall on the newly installed soft cream carpet. Molly called me sadistic, but I couldn't stop smiling as I watched the last piece of my former life disappear before me. Once the house was thoroughly unrecognizable, I was finally pleased and so was Harry.

Harry enjoyed playing with his toys and toddling around his new home, but some times were harder than others. Often, I would awake in the middle of the night by screams coming from my godson. Those screams caused my heart to clench and stomach to drop in fear. I would race down the hallway and enter his room to see Harry's tiny form thrashing around in the midst of a nightmare. I would shake him slightly to wake him up on to have him wail into my chest and point at the photo of James and Lily by his bedside table. Those nights were some of the worst of mine as well. As Harry gotten older, the sadness he feels has slightly diminished. There are still times when I catch him with tears in his eyes and one of James's shirts in his hands. My godson and I talk frequently about them which helps both of us. I feel like by talking about them, their memory lives on and Harry loves to hear stories about the mischief James and I got into, how sweet his mother was and how much the two of them loved him.

Harry is sincerely the bravest boy I have ever known, he even surpasses James at his age which is saying a lot. Even with that abnormal amount of bravery, It brings me joy to see that Harry still can act like a young boy. He's obsessed with quidditch, loves traveling, and adores spending his time with his best friend Ron Weasley. I love seeing Harry and Ron running around and playing. I also love the Weasley family in general and we're meeting up with them later today to see the young boys off.

* * *

I finish getting ready as fast as I possibly can and walk down the steps and to the living room. I almost want to cry as I see Harry's trunks resting in the corner with Hedwig's empty cage sitting on top. From the moment I purchased the large snowy owl, she and Harry have been inseparable and she now spends almost all of her time in whichever room Harry is.

I go into the kitchen to find breakfast for Harry and I placed on the long table. Since the destruction of my mother's portrait Kreacher has taken to ignoring me as much as possible, which I love, but he still has his chores like cooking and cleaning - only how he completes them while avoiding Harry and I. I sit down at the table and eat my breakfast slowly, contemplating the ways I can sneak onto the Hogwarts grounds to visit my Harry. I hear some movement in the floor above me and the light patters of small feet coming down the stairs.

I place a smile on my face and try to clear the sadness out of my eyes as I see my very sleepy godson, clad in pajamas, and pushing the black hair out of his face.

"Good Morning." I say cheerfully as I push his tray of sausage and eggs towards his side of the table.

"Mmm." Harry groans, and I chuckle. Harry is not a morning person.

Harry starts to chow down on his breakfast as he does every morning, but I notice he's going quite a bit slower than normal.

"Whats wrong Harry?" I ask. "I expected you to be bounding. You've been waiting for this day for months."

"I'm okay." Harry replies quietly and I automatically know he's lying.

I reach across the table and grab his hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"Tell me."

Harry drops his fork and leans back into his chair with a frustrated sigh.

"I don't want to go." he says quickly. My jaw drops a bit at this. Harry has been bouncing off the walls since the moment he realized he could go to Hogwarts.

"Why not? Whats changed from a week ago sweetheart?" I ask, concerned.

"I just ... I just wanna stay here ... with you. I don't want anything to change."

I soften after he speaks as another round of sadness washes over me. I get up from my seat and walk around the table to the chair next to him and sit down. I drape my arm over his shoulder and pull him into a hug. I pet the back of his head.

"I'll admit that I am going to miss you. I'm going to miss you _so much." _I whisper into his ear. "But you are going to have so much fun. The castle is beautiful and everyone there will love you. You'll get to spend everyday with Ron. That'll be the best! I can't wait until I get the first owl telling me the two of you are up to no good. Fred and George will be there as well, you've always liked them. You're going to meet so many new people and make a load of new friends Harry. I'm so excited for you. We'll write to each other as much as you want, I want to hear everything. And then you'll get to come home for visits and stay for the holidays. Before you know it, it'll be summer and you'll be home for months."

"What if everyone treats me different?" Harry asks so quietly I barely hear him.

"Harry they all probably will. You're famous to everyone Harry, but in time, everything will die down and you'll be old news." I say and Harry laughs. "You just have to ride it out Harry. Trust yourself Harry and you won't go wrong. I promise."

I feel Harry nod against my shoulder.

"Now, I want you to finish your breakfast and go upstairs and get ready. We're supposed to meet the Weasleys in about an hour. I'll check your trunk and make sure we have everything."

I get up from the table and hurry into the sitting room before Harry can see the tears streaming down my face. I look through his trunk and make sure he has everything and some extras before I sit down on the leather sofa and pick up a photo of Lily, James, and baby Harry.

In the photo, Lily is resting between James's legs with her back to his chest while holding a tiny baby boy in a bright blue blanket. I see James and Lily looking down at their son with an extreme amount of adoration. Time flies and I see a freshly bathed Harry coming down the stairs in his traveling outfit with Hedwig on his arm. As he raises his arm, Hedwig flaps her large wings and flies into her cage just as Harry closes the lock.

"All set?" I ask as I place the photo delicately back onto the table beside the sofa.

Harry nods and I see a flicker of excitement in his eyes that was missing this morning at breakfast. Together, we place Harry's trunk and Hedwigs cage onto a trolley and enter the floo side by side.

"King's Cross!"

* * *

We enter the train station an are immediately surrounded by a bustle of people. Harry shifts on his feet which is his sign of nervousness. I place a reassuring hand on his shoulder and guide him to the wall between platforms nine and ten. I told Harry a long time ago about how to get on the platform, but he still looks up at me like I'm mad.

I place one of my hands on the trolley and the other on his back - together we run at the wall and come out momentarily surrounded by young witches and wizards and their families. I see a group containing several heads of bright red hair straight ahead so I brake the trolley and receive a small pouch from out of my robes. I place the pouch in Harry's pocket and he looks curiously at me.

"Just some money." I explain. "There's plenty there for the train and I'll send you more throughout the year. Make sure you buy Ron some sweets and get whatever you want of course. Come on lets go meet them."

Harry finally looks very excited as we meet his best friend. I hand over the trolley to the man collecting everyone's belonging and tip him two galleons. I turn and see Ron and Harry laughing loudly as Molly combs her fingers through Harry's always-messy hair.

"Sirius, honestly!" she scolds when she sees me. "Do you not even attempt to comb through this mess?"

I simply and ruffle his hair even more. The sharp whistle sounds and Harry's head snaps to me with a look of pure terror. Molly ushers her children onto the train as I kneel down to Harry's level.

"Its going to be okay Harry. I promise. You're going to love it there - I know I did. I swear that we'll always be in contact. You can send me a letter on the ride there if you wish - just send it with Hedwig. Are you okay?"

Harry nods. "I-I just.."

I pull him into a tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you too. I love you Harry."

"I love you too."

I stand up and lead Harry to the door of the train.

"Go meet up with Ron. I want to hear from you the moment you're sorted okay? Promise me."

"I promise Sirius."

I hug him once again and kiss the top of his head before I push him up to the door of the train. He fleetingly looks at me and I nod in reassurance as a worker closes and locks the door.

I walk to stand by Molly and Arthur who look just as nervous and sad as I do. I hear the chugging as the train starts and I'm tempted to jump on board.

"Oh, Look!" shouts Molly and we all turn to see her pointing at a window where I see Harry and Ron's head and arms hanging out of a compartment waving furiously. I laugh slightly as the Weasley's and I wave back with equal ferocity.

The train lurches forward and becomes a red blur as it chugs out of sight.

* * *

**WOW!**

**This chapter might be a bit messy, but I really want to get it posted and I'm too tired to edit. I want to apologize about the lateness of this update, but I started school August 21 and I've been swamped in assignments. BEFORE YOU ASK - I will continue with the "Past and the new generation" soon, I just need to find the time. I promise to update more regularly once my new laptop comes in. **

**Please go check out the new story I posted - "the death of a soldier" its a Mad Eye story and I love it. **

**I hope you guys enjoy this! I love Sirius Black.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks for your support.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

_Sirius's Point of View_

What in the bloody hell is taking so long? The Hogwarts Express left hours ago from the station and I still have yet to receive a letter from Harry. I've been pacing the length of the kitchen, looking towards the open window for hours.

Watching Harry leave on that train and not jumping aboard to stop him was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I wonder what James would've done. He most likely would have been too busy comforting a hysterical Lily to do much of anything.

I miss them both so much, and I only miss them more with each passing day. Every time something has happened in Harry's life, every birthday, holiday, cold, and fall - I wonder what James and Lily would've done. I wonder how they would react. I wonder if they would be angry with me for not being a good enough god father.

Of course, I love Harry like he is my own son, but I never forget that he is not. Harry is the spitting image of James, but his warm eyes come from Lily. Every time I look at him, I feel grateful that I still have a piece of the both of them. Harry inherited their best features: he has James's mischievousness, bravery, and good heartedness. He inherited maturity beyond his years, kindness, and protectiveness from Lily.

His classes haven't even begun yet, and I miss him terribly - but I can't wait until he has his own adventures at school. He has entirely too much of his father in him _not _to get in any trouble.

I laugh at the memory of the trouble James and I used to cause.

I hear fluttering of wings and a dark blur outside the window.

"Finally." I sigh as I bound over to the window ledge.

Hedwig, Harry's beautiful snowy owl flies through the window and lands gracefully on the counter. I smile as she hoots with excitement, obviously pleased with herself.

"Hello pretty girl." I say as I take the letter from her beak.

I place the letter down for only a moment, so I can push her water and treats toward her. The minute she is satisfied I tear into the letter.

I read:

_Dear Sirius,_

_I can't wait to tell you, so I'll just spit it out. I'm in Gryffindor! Ron is as well! The train ride was brilliant, we spent the entire time snacking on sweets. Toward the end of the ride some girl, Hermione Granger came barging in. She's nice to me but she's annoying - brilliant, but annoying. We met Hagrid on the platform and took the boats to the castle, I've really missed him. I think the castle is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. When we got inside I met Neville Longbottom - for some reason his name sounds familiar. You know his parents or something right? I also met probably the biggest prat in the world. Draco Malfoy. He made fun of Ron and told me I didn't want to mess with the wrong sort of people. I told him off of course. After that, we all were sorted. Why did you never tell me about the Hat? It was a bit scary to be honest. The minute McGonagall called my name every one started whispering and looking at me. Do you think it'll be like that all year? The hat almost put me in Slytherin, but I pretty much begged it not to. Why would it even think about putting me in Slytherin? It's known for dark wizards and I don't think I'm dark. Am I? I just figured since you, my mum, my dad, and Uncle Remus were all Gryffindors, that I would automatically be one too. I guess I am though, right?_

_Anyway, once I was sorted we had the feast. I really love all my class mates, Fred and George kept making us all laugh up until the ghosts came out. Nearly Headless Nick was a bit scary, I'm not sure what I think of Peeves yet. I remember all the stories you told me about him. My classes don't start until tomorrow morning but all my professors seem nice enough. I like McGonagall but I'm afraid her classes will be difficult. Oh! I forgot, during the feast there was this one Professor who kept staring at me like I was a flesh eating slug or something. Percy Weasley told me he's the potions master and his name is Professor Severus Snape. Have you ever heard of him? I swear Sirius, I don't know what I did to make him angry but I didn't mean to. I'm sure his class is going to be fun._

_I share my dorm with Ron, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan and Neville Longbottom. We all get on really well. Even though everything has gone well so far, I miss home so much. I'm okay but I miss you. Please write back as soon as you can - I'm really nervous about my classes tomorrow._

_Love,_

_Harry._

As I finish reading Harry's letter. A million things wrack through my mind. The top being - I wish James was here to tell me what to do. I wonder how much I should tell him about each of the names he's listed. I don't want him to know about the horrors of Frank and Alice Longbottom - not yet at least. I'm so proud to hear that my godson had the good sense to blow off Malfoy. The boy really got his brains from his mother. The most surprising name of all had to be that of Snivellus Snape. I can't _believe _he decided to come back to Hogwarts and teach. The fact that Dumbledore would hire him with his love of the Dark Arts is even more unbelievable. I have a very bad feeling in my stomach that Snape will do everything in his power to make Harry's life a living hell while he can, but I'll die before I let him.

I can tell he really is nervous so I race up to my office and grab a piece of parchment, quill, and a pot of ink before running back down the stairs and start on my reply.

_Dearest Harry,_

_I cannot tell you how pleased and proud of you I am that you're in Gryffindor. I am sure I have told you enough stories to last a lifetime about my school days, but I really did have the time of my life and met the greatest friends I could ever have while I was in Gryffindor. I am sure you will do the same. I am happy to hear that you enjoyed the Hogwarts Express. I remember your father and I were particularly fond of Chocolate Frogs and Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. As for Hermione Granger, I ask you not to judge anyone too quickly. You never know who people will turn out to be. I also agree that it has been far too long since we have last seen Hagrid, I'm sure he will be happy to have you at his hut frequently throughout the year. You were right - you have heard the name 'LongBottom' before. I do know Neville Longbottom's parents. Frank and Alice Longbottom were two of the kindest and bravest people I have ever met but I must ask you not to mention them to Neville. I will tell you the full story of them later on when I can help you to make sense of it. As for Draco Malfoy, your sense of judgment has never been more correct. The Malfoys are a very old, cruel, Pure-Blood family and Draco's father Lucius was a known supporter of Voldemort. I would definitely keep distance between the two of you but don't back down from him Harry. Don't ever back down from anybody. _

_The Sorting Hat is just one of the countless surprises Hogwarts has to offer. You should know that I always thought you would be a Gryffindor. Even while you were a baby you showed bravery and fairness, and as you've grown you've only built on those traits even more. You should know that just because your family has been put in one house - it doesn't guarantee you will placed there too. My entire family had been sorted into Slytherin, which made me think that it was where I automatically belonged. However, when I was on the Hogwarts Express, I met your father who was determined to be sorted into Gryffindor. When I was placed on the stool, the Hat had a hard time sorting me as well. I was sure I was going to be sorted into Slytherin and separated from your father - my only friend that didn't care about being a Pure Blood or family titles. When I was sorted into Gryffindor with your dad and Uncle Remus - I had never been happier. Slytherin is primarily known for dark wizards, but the house values ambition, slyness, and the ability to be cunning. The Hat considered putting you there because you do have these traits but that does not mean you are bad or dark. Deep down, we all have darkness inside, but it only matters if you act on it. You need to know that the Sorting Hat would not have placed you in Gryffindor if it isn't where you belong. You are a Gryffindor Harry, through and through. _

_I daresay Fred and George will provide entertainment for all of you while you're at Hogwarts. I demand you write and tell me about anything they do that's good enough to get them into trouble. Nearly Headless Nick is the ghost of Gryffindor. As long as you remember to call him Sir Nicholas - you will stay on his good side. Peeves, on the other hand, has been causing chaos since before you or I were born and I believe he will continue long after the both of us are gone. Try not to draw attention to yourself when he's in a particularly feisty mood and he will leave you in peace - hopefully. Now, I need to tell you about Professor Snape. Snape was at school with your father, Uncle Remus and I. You should know that Snape has loved the dark arts for as long as I've known him and I truly don't understand why Dumbledore would allow him to teach. Snape was an absolute nobody and was always extremely jealous of your father - I don't know if it was because of his popularity or over all talent, but it is safe to say we hated each other. Every opportunity he got, he tried to curse your father, me and Uncle Remus - I am proud to say he never got the best of us. Snivellus was always a greasy little git and I highly doubt he's changed since then. I can assure you, you have done nothing wrong when it comes to him. Snape is holding onto a school boy grudge that formed before you were born. I'm almost positive he's going to be hard on you simply because your father is James Potter. The moment he treats you unfairly from the rest of your classmates - you **must **tell me at once. Some of my best times were spent putting him in his place and he needs to know that you have me and I will not allow anyone to bully you. _

_I can tell that you are nervous about your classes, but in a matter of weeks you will fall into a routine and your worries will all seem silly. You need to have faith in yourself Harry. You are the son of two of the most brilliant people I have ever known, and I see their talents shine through you every single day. You are a very intelligent, and very powerful young wizard. You can succeed in whatever you put your mind to - I know you can. With that being said, you need to have fun. Don't be afraid to cause some trouble and make some really great memories. Everything will work itself out Harry. You really needn't worry. Everything here at home is fine, but it is odd having the house so quiet without you running around. I bet Kreacher is really going to love just being with me. Ha! I am also okay but I miss you so much. __Uncle Remus is stopping by in a few days and you should keep in mind that he is more than qualified to help you with any of your classes - whenever you want. You know I'm rubbish at that nonsense, but I can gladly show you some of your father's secret passages out of the castle! _

_I am so incredibly proud of you Harry and I know your parents are too. I am here whenever you need me and you know I want to hear everything. Write to me as often as you can. I love you and miss you so much._

_Sirius_

After I finish my reply, I fold the parchment carefully and stuff it into an envelope addressed with Harry's name and the Black Family wax crest seal.

As I walk toward Hedwig, she ruffles her wings slightly - preparing for another long flight. I stroke her back softly.

"You'll make sure our boy is okay, won't you?" I inquire and almost as if she's human, she blinks her eyes several times and nips at my finger reassuringly.

"Thank you, pretty girl." I say softly as I place the letter in her beak. "Try to be fast, he's nervous."

Before I can say another word, she flies elegantly from the window and out into the night. I watch her for as long as I can, flapping her wings, until she disappears in the darkness. I stand by the window for several moments. No sound resonates besides the crackling of the fire in the other room and the quiet creaking of floorboards where Kreacher is the floor above me.

I sigh, annoyed. I cross the kitchen toward the liquor cabinet and pull out a large bottle of Rosmerta's mead. I decide against the glass and walk, depressed up the stairs and to my bedroom with the large bottle. I close the door, turn out the lights, light the fire, slip off my shoes and flop myself down on the bed all the while taking large swigs from the bottle.

After a few moments, the alcohol takes affect and I begin to feel drowsy.

"Here's to you, James and Lily. I miss you both so much, I really hope that I'm doing okay by you." I slur.

As more thoughts of James, Lily and Harry pass through my head - I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep almost immediately.

* * *

**Hi everyone!**

**If you like James/Lily and the marauders - I hope you guys will go check out my new story 'Into the Past'.**

**I recently received some questions about this story and Harry Potter in general.**

**-Is Sirius gay? Is he with Remus?**

_No he is not gay in this story or in my mind. I apologize for any confusion._

**-Does Harry know that Remus is a werewolf?**

_Yes he does. It will be addressed in later chapters._

**/**

**First character I fell in love with:**

_Hagrid, of course._

**Character I never expected to love as much as I do now:**

_McGonagall, Lupin, Mad Eye, Ginny, Draco_

**Character everyone else loves that I don't:**

_Snape. I know, I know! Everyone forgets he was the one who told Voldemort about the prophecy that ultimately killed Lily. Even though he loved his mother he treated Harry and the majority of his students (Neville ESPECIALLY) horribly. I also really, really hate that he always mocked James and Sirius and was really cruel about their deaths._

**Character I love everyone else hates:**

_I know a lot of people really don't like Harry - but I just don't understand that. How can you not like Harry Potter? Also I know a lot of people don't like Aberforth but I love him._

**Character I used to love but don't any longer:**

_I don't think I have one._

**The character I would totally smooch:**

_I really do have a crush on Charlie Weasley. I would also totally kiss Fred and George. Apparently I have a thing for Weasley's huh? I also have a small thing for Viktor Krum. _

**Character I'd want to be like:**

_People tell me that I'm like Ginny and Tonks mixed together - I really like that. Though I wish I had Hermione's brains._

**Character I'd slap:**

_Delores Umbridge. I hate her so much_

**A pairing that I love:**

_Hermione/Fred. I think I read that Jo originally planned for them to be together. I do love Hermione/Ron but I would've loved to see Hermione/Fred._

**A pairing I despise:**

_I really don't like Harry/Luna - that just doesn't work in my head._


	6. Chapter 6

_Sirius's Point of View_

"Sirius, open up! It's freezing out here, you know!" Remus bellows from the opposite side of my door.

To be honest, I have waited with my hand on the door knob for about a minute simply because I know it irks him. Once a Marauder, Always a Marauder.

I open the door with a grin at Remus's annoyed expression.

"It's about bloody time." He grumbles as he pushes into the foyer to the kitchen. Presumably seeking a nice tankard of butterbeer to return feeling to his ungloved hands.

I follow him into the kitchen where he is indeed pouring himself a large glass and a significant amount for me also. I push my ashtray further behind the tea leaf container with a hope Remus will be too slow to see it.

"Don't be such a bird, Moony. A werewolf who can't stand a little chill - truly pathetic." I tease and Remus chucks the butterbeer cork at my head - although he wears a slight smile.

"Whatever. Why do you have that window open?" He says as he points toward the window above the sink. The same window I was simultaneously smoking out of and looking for Hedwig only moments ago.

"Oh, I was just looking for Hedwig. I'm expecting a letter from Harry any minute now." I say dismissively as I take a chug of warm and delicious butterbeer.

"Of course," He says with a motherly scowl. "I'm sure you were also trying to get rid of the stench of those wretched cigarettes as well. When are you going to realize those things will kill you?"

I guffaw at him. Only Remus can say things like that and not get his arse kicked.

"Don't you scold me Moony. So bloody what if I want to have a smoke every now and then! You have no idea how stressing it is to have my baby off at Hogwarts and not a have a clue about what's going on with him." I explain as I pull a cigarette out of my pocket and light it.

"So how are you? Still working at the library?" I ask through taking a drag and Remus looks annoyed at me.

With a grimace, Remus pulls my ashtray from behind the container and slides it down the table to me.

"Yes, in fact I am. It isn't a bad job, but it does get tedious. I'm grateful though, having any job with my condition is a rarity. I'm fairly sure only the Bagshot family _would _hire me nowadays." Remus says with appreciation heavy in his voice.

I scoff at him and he lowers his eyes to the table. I've offered Remus money more times than I can count, but his pride has always prevented him from accepting. He lived with Harry and I until Harry was seven and he decided he needed a place of his own. He claimed that was his reasoning for moving out, but I know he really felt like he was suddenly intruding. He's worked at the private Bagshot library for several years, but I know he only continues there because job opportunities are scarce elsewhere for him. I hate that people judge based on his condition and not on the brilliant man and hard worker he is.

"Well Moony, whenever you decide to get your head out of your arse - I already have the Gringotts application form ready and waiting on my desk for you.

Remus rolls his eyes, but I can see a slight nod. He takes another swig of butterbeer and I stamp out my cigarette.

"How is Harry? What have you heard from him so far?" he asks curiously.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I've been dying for ages to tell him all that's happened so far.

"Where to begin!" I muse. "You'll be pleased to know that Harry Potter is officially a proud Gryffindor. Apparently the Hat had some deliberation over that and Slytherin. I obviously told him that he _does _have some Slytherin traits but what do you think it means?"

Remus looks thoughtful for a moment.

"I venture to guess that because of Harry's history, he does share common ground with Voldemort in some ways. Obviously Harry is the complete opposite of him, but the Hat's main purpose is to sort the children into houses in which they will be most likely to succeed. I suppose it thought there was a great possibility that Harry could succeed among the other Slytherins. You have to admit Padfoot, the children of Crabbe and Avery and Mulciber and even Malfoy would treat Harry like a god if he allowed them too."

Remus is right, as usual. All of those men worshipped Voldemort because he was the most powerful at the time. The fact that Harry could defeat him at the age of infancy has made him the new power player.

"Very true." I say to him. "Merlin, things never change do they?"

"Afraid not." he chuckles. "So what else has happened?"

"Well, speaking of Malfoy, Harry had the displeasure of meeting his son - Draco right before the Sorting. They've become immediate enemies. I can't say I'm disappointed though. I don't want Harry to associate with people like them for as long as possible. There is something I want your advice on .. Harry also met Neville Longbottom. Frank and Alice's boy... God Moony, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to tell him."

Remus's head shakes in disappointment as his eyes bear tragedy. These looks are common among all of us when Frank and Alice come into conversation. They were just such _great_ people.

"That's a hard situation to be put in Sirius. Harry's young so he'll let it go easily, but he does need to know eventually. It'll be easier for him if he hears the story from you rather than someone else. Even though Harry's been raised in the magical world, Hogwarts is still new to him and the details about Voldemort are too. You've been very open and honest with him which will help, but he still doesn't know about all of us fighting with the Order, or just how many families were torn apart by him and his regime. I think Harry might be able to understand though, he and Neville's situations are very much alike."

"I never though of it that way Moony." I say. "I just .. I've finally realized how James and Lily felt when Harry was born. I want to protect him from everything including the past... You are right though, he needs to know before it comes out in the wrong light I suppose. Maybe when he comes home for Christmas ..."

"You'll figure it out Sirius. You're a good parent .. better than any of us thought you'd be to be very honest."

He says it in a teasing tone but I know it's true. Everyone has doubted me throughout my entire life. I am happy to say that most of the time I have proved them all wrong. As Harry has grown I've come to realize you can never be a perfect parent. I have made my fair share mistakes with him, but I love him more than I ever thought I could love someone. To be honest, I didn't know what absolute love was until Harry drifted into my life. I would've happily died for James, Lily, Remus and even Peter, but until Harry - I didn't know what true, definite, and paralyzing fear of losing someone was. The idea of losing my best friend's son ... _my_ son is completely unbearable.

I flip Moony off with a grin so he can see I'm not genuinely hurt. I'm rarely ever truly angry at Remus. Since James died, he has been the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for. He kept my head above the water when Harry was a baby and I thought I was going mad. Every day I was terrified I was mucking things up with Harry, I was also terrified James and Lily were ashamed of me. Molly Weasley helped me learn every aspect of raising children, but it was Remus who gave me the kick in the arse I needed.

Remus was also the one to keep me under strict supervision for over a year after James's death to ensure I didn't brutally murder that cringing piece of traitorous vermin - Peter Pettigrew even though his death was my greatest desire. Instead, Remus and I spent countless hours pouring over the trails Peter was sloppy enough to leave. After years of searching, we finally tracked his worthless being straight to the Weasley's. He had lived as a garden rat and house pet for almost a decade. I felt completely giddy the moment when Peter was forced to reveal himself in front of the entire Order of the Phoenix. Peter cowered, cried, whimpered and sniffled on the floor as he relived every moment of his betrayal to all of the great witches and wizards he betrayed. When he explained how he had revealed the Secret of James and Lily's home in Godric's Hollow - I felt pure rage and before I could be stopped, I hexed him to his knees. When he broke out in boils and extreme lacerations I knew every one else felt just as disgusted as I did. Dumbledore was ambivalent to me as I administered my own punishment to Peter before Mad Eye escorted him personally and furiously to Azkaban. I know he didn't approve, but he knew I _had_ to do it. I refused to use my wand, I preferred to beat him with my fists until he was unrecognizable and screaming for mercy and the skin of my knuckles was broken wide open, baring bone. That night when I tucked Harry into bed, I felt more calm than I had in years. The realization that Peter would spend the rest of his pathetic life, rotting in that terrible place, haunted and tormented every day until his death brought me my own sort of solace.

"Oh bugger!" I exclaim as a thought pops into my head. "I completely forgot to tell you! Harry told me about a certain professor he has who is sure to give him a hard time this year. Think of the greasiest Slytherin you know and someone we tormented during our Hogwarts days."

Remus looks extremely puzzled.

"Dumbledore would never allow ... He wouldn't even _want _to teach... Sirius, you _can't_ be taking about Snape."

I nod. The name Snape leaves a terrible taste in my mouth and the urge to hex something.

"You're joking!" He exclaims, looking thoroughly shocked.

"I wish I was." I grumble. "Harry told me while he was at the feast he noticed a Professor glaring at him from the Head table. Apparently Snivellus teaches Potions and is Head of Slytherin House. Moony, you're one of the very few people Dumbledore actually takes seriously so you must know. Has the old man officially lost his mind? Why in the hell would he allow a Deatheater to teach at _Hogwarts?!"_

For a while Remus almost has an amused smile on his face - a smile I seriously consider slapping off. What part of this is funny?

"I'm not going to pretend I know why Dumbledore does a fraction of the things he does, but I'm certain that if he trusts Severus then Severus must be trustworthy. I do hope he keeps an eye on him while he is around Harry though. If he's already picking on Harry before classes even commence, I hate to think of what he'll be like as time goes on."

My blood boils at the thought.

"You can be sure the moment he steps out of line - I'll be there. I assume he's hoping he'll be able to get some revenge in his mind by picking on James's son. I also assume he doesn't know Harry's in my care. When he was born only you and Peter knew I was godfather and later on The Order found out. Right after James and Lily died when I refused to give up Harry to his aunt and uncle, Dumbledore told me to keep it quiet - for Harry's safety of course. I can think of very few things that would please me more than having another go at Snivellus."

"Oh, Sirius." Remus sighs. "It's been over a decade! I agree you need to keep a close eye to make sure Harry isn't being mistreated, but that is _all _you should do. Besides, Albus will never allow an altercation between the two of you."

"If he's around." I mumble under my breath. Remus either doesn't hear it or chooses to ignore it.

"Is Harry excited for his classes?" Remus inquires, successfully changing the subject.

"More nervous I think. You know all too well how intimidating the castle is. That's why I've been waiting for a letter, he promised to write about his first day."

Remus nods and with perfect timing, Hedwig swoops into the kitchen gracefully. She lands on her perch silently and drops a letter on the counter before she begins gratefully eating the treats I laid out for her over an hour ago.

I jump out of my seat and I can hear Remus chuckling from the table as I tear open the letter and begin to read.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I have major news! Obviously I survived my first day of classes and I'll tell you about them in a bit, but I have something more urgent to tell you. When I was at my first flying lesson with Madam Hooch - Neville had a mishap and had to be taken to the Hospital Wing. When he got hurt, the remembrall his grandmother gave him flew out of his bag. Malfoy got ahold of it and was planning on smashing it I bet. I know I wasn't supposed to, but I got on my broom and told him to give it back. He chucked towards the castle but I got it before it hit the ground. I was terrified when I saw Professor McGonagall come storming toward me, but she just took me inside the castle to meet Oliver Wood - the Gryffindor keeper quidditch captain. I'm the new Gryffindor seeker! Everyone keeps talking about how I'm the youngest seeker in a century! I've always loved quidditch but I never thought I'd actually get to play in school. Fred and George are beaters, Angelina Johnson, Katie Bell, and Alicia Spinnet are the chasers. They've all been really cool. Oliver said he's going to pull me out of class early tomorrow so he can show me the ropes._

_Obviously I'm excited to learn more about quidditch but I'm mostly thrilled to get out of potions. It's only been a day and Snape is bloody terrible. I know you warned me about him, but I never thought he really could hate me without knowing me. The second I walked into the dungeon he had it out for me. I was taking notes down while he was talking and he started asking me about bezoars and wormwood and asphodel - how am I supposed to know any of that? Classes haven't even started yet! I have a bad feeling that it's only going to get worse from here._

_All my other classes were good though. Me and Ron got lost on our way to Transfiguration, we thought we were safe when we didn't see McGonagall but she just transformed herself out of cat! Does she always do that? She didn't seem too angry thankfully - maybe its because we're in her house. Charms was pretty cool, Flitwick is really nice. _

_My first match is right after Halloween. Do you think there's any way you can come? I know you probably can't but I guess I'm nervous because I've never actually played and it'd be nice to have someone cheering in case I fall on my face. How're things at home? The castle is brilliant and I'm settling in fine, but I really just miss being at home. I miss you a lot and I think Hedwig does too. I know you won't believe it, but I even kind of miss Kreacher. How is he? Have you seen Uncle Remus lately? - you said he'd be stopping by. Tell him hello from me. How are you? You always say you're fine, but I know it's hard on you when you're alone. _

_Write to me whenever you can. Love you._

_Harry_

So many different emotions cross through my mind. I'm so shocked and ecstatic that Harry is on the team. I can just picture James's reaction at this. I feel anger that Snape has the fucking audacity to try and embarrass Harry before the ink has even dried on his acceptance letter. I feel relieved that Harry is settling in and finding his place at Hogwarts. Finally, I am floored by the unnatural maturity of my godson.

"Good lord." I say inwardly and Moony looks up, eager.

"What does it say?" he asks.

"I just .. Merlin, McGonagall just named Harry Gryffindor Seeker! He's the youngest in a century!"

Remus smiles widely.

"Merlin, the youngest seeker in a century. That's wonderful news! James would be so proud!" he beams.

"I know. _I'm _so proud! He has always had talent, but I never thought he'd get the chance to play! He also said Snape did in fact give him a hard time. I know you don't approve Moony, but I'm going to Dumbledore. This year and the years ahead are supposed to be some of the best in Harry's life and I won't allow that fucking greasy git to ruin them every chance he gets. Does he have no respect or sympathy for what happened in his past? No, I'll bet he doesn't - after all he was working for the man who brutally murdered his parents and _attempted _to murder Harry himself. Maybe he's cross that Harry got rid of his master. What the hell was Dumbledore thinking?"

Remus nods at me and murmurs "yes, of course." and "I agree." throughout my rant.

"Sirius, I know how you feel. I know it's different because you're a parent, but I also care for Harry immensely and it angers me to hear the way Severus is treating him - but you must go about this carefully. Severus will still be Harry's professor when the day ends and I fear if you charge at him the way you are wanting to - things could be made even worse for Harry."

I understand what he is saying, but it doesn't appease me.

"I suppose you're right, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I don't mean to be rude Moony, but I want to get a reply to Harry as soon as I can."

Remus nods at me.

"I understand completely." he says through a yawn.

"You look exhausted. Why don't you go to your old room and crash for a bit?" I say to my exhausted best friend.

With an appreciative smile, Remus moves sluggishly out of his chair and out of the kitchen. I have my doubts he will even make it to his bed. I summon all my writing utensils from my office and begin on my reply to my godson.

* * *

**_Happy Halloween Everyone!_**

**_I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and if you do - REVIEW ... if you don't - REVIEW!_**

**_I hope everyone has a very happy and safe Halloween and is having a Harry Potter marathon like I am._**

**_*Tonight is also the anniversary of James and Lily Potter's deaths. Even though they are 'fictional' I love this couple so much and I mourn their deaths. I love these Harry Potter characters more than life and I'll forever be grateful to Joanne for introducing them to my life. I hope everyone takes a moment this evening to remember James and Lily - one of the greatest couples to ever live._**


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